Shit!
Damn it!
Shit! Goddamn it!
Lend me 20 grand and I'll give you your papers back.
Lend? You mean you plan on paying me back?
I could give a shit about your money and letters and pictures.
Oh, yeah. There is one picture of you when you were little.
Nine years old, 60 pounds.
You were already a knockout.
I'll come down to ten grand if you let me keep it.
Okay.
What? Could you repeat that?
Where and when?
The subway, 10:00 tonight. All right?
Don't put yourself out on my account.
Do you have the papers?
Any trouble finding it?
None at all. Do you have the papers?
- Boy, I sure love this picture. - The papers.
- You're hard on me. - Really? I wonder why.
I sure don't know. I was looking forward to meeting again in a quiet spot.
Your place was full of people. No one could talk to anyone.
Here we're cool, and all you want is your papers. You're ruining it.
You ruined it.
When someone invites you somewhere, you don't have to blow their safe.
That has nothing to do with it. I just have something against safes.
Is that your idea of a joke?
Is this your idea of a joke? We said ten grand.
I deducted expenses.
Thanks for coming.
Be reasonable.
You messed up my house, smashed up my car. Isn't that enough for one day?
Why did you invite me to your party?
Because I thought you were...
But not anymore?
Listen, Fred, I like you, but you're really unbearable.
You're beautiful in this dress, with your diamonds all over.
Thank you.
Your hair's still the same mess as before.
Have you caught a look at yourself? Will I see you again?
I don't think so.
Well, I do.
Stop.
Okay, all right. I'm fine. Go and check over there. Go!
How are you, Mr. Roland?
Give me the log.
The Roller again.
Yep, him again. I counted: He averages 11 crimes a week.
- So now you keep statistics? - Well, yes.
You're being paid to sit there and do nothing.
Come now, Mr. Roland...
Okay, okay. Stop arguing with me and get me a cup of coffee.
See you later.
Who are you putting on duty tonight, Mr. Roland?
Batman and Robin.
The very best.
Just my luck.
Evening, Inspector.
Good night.
Hello?
It's Fred.
Did I wake you up?
What do you think?
Sorry, but I just wanted to talk to you.
This can't be happening.
Just what do you want from me?
You want to see how far you can push me?
How much I'll take before I crack?
What the hell are you talking about? I wanted to talk to you, that's all.
At 2:00 in the morning?
- Yes. - Fine. Go ahead.
What's your first name?
Helena.
Helena...
I'm in love with you.
- Was that him? - Yes.
- Learn anything? - Yes. He's in love with me.
Excuse me?
Anyone there?
Who are you?
Fred.
What the hell are you doing here?
A little vacation.
- Could you slow down a little? - No. We can't stay here.
Why not?
I don't like this neighborhood.
Hey, wait up! I can't go on any further.
How did you get down here?
Just wandering around.
Well, see you.
Hey, you know how I can get rid of these?
You sure dress the part when you go on vacation!
How you doin', Big Bill?
Hi.
This is a buddy of mine.
He's got a little problem. Show him.
He misplaced the guy who was on the other end.
Hey, Big Bill...
you need to work out what's up here!
I told you he was okay.
Nice place you've got.
Nice place he's got.
Hey, come on. Show him what you can do.
Come over here.
That's great, Big Bill.
That's great.
I don't mean to be a pest, but how about some food, man?
How about a nice pension while you're at it?
So what are you doing down here?
That's a good question.
- Can I trust you? - No, but tell me anyway.
I'm doing a story on the subway.
That's why you were wearing cuffs, huh?
Yeah. I don't even notice 'em.
Who was that in the picture?
- My wife. - You're married?
No. We're engaged.
So what's with all the booze?
I told a friend I'd stop by. It's his birthday. Wanna come?
I love birthdays.
- I'd almost given up on you! - I brought a buddy along, all right?
Happy birthday.
How're you doing, Big Bill?
- You know him? - Fuck off.
- You play great. - Thanks.
- So who's your pal? - He's a reporter.
A what?
I know a singer. The real thing.
I'm putting together a group with him. Here's something he wrote.
- When did he call back? - About 4:00 in the morning.
- He didn't say anything about money? - No.
He told me he'd like to return your papers...
but first he wanted to see you... alone.
So why the hell are you here?
How can anyone live in a dump like this, huh?
There's never any sun.
I mean, this is really the pits.
But a little light works wonders even here, huh?
Cleans out the pipes.
Get a load of that outfit!
See if there's something in there that'll fit you.
You can't go around like that.
You look like a tourist!
- May I help you, miss? - Madam. Good morning.
I'd like to speak to Inspector Gesberg.
- May I ask what about? - It's a personal matter.
He's not here at the moment, but he'll be back soon.
Would you like to wait in his office?
I would. Thanks a lot.
- You're up already? - Yeah.
- That jacket looks great on you. - Think so?
Yeah, really.
Listen...
you might be interested in a deal I have in mind.
- Let's get some coffee first. - Okay.
Coffee?
Look who just woke up!
Every Friday night at 7:00, two guys from Security...
with two boxes full of cash from the head cashier's office...
come down here and take the subway to the next station.
Nothing we can do once they get there.
But while they're on the platform here...
they have to wait two minutes for the train.
That's when we can get them.
You pull a gun on them...
you grab the two boxes and you hightail it through the tunnel.
The rest is child's play. You follow me. I know the subway by heart.
So what do you say, man? We can't miss with a plan like that.
Give it a rest, huh?
You got a gun?
Let's see.
Here?
Three bullets.
Don't do anything crazy, eh?
Now you know what it's like to grab a guy and say...
"Don't move or I'll blow your brains out."
Don't move.
- Keep still. - That's enough.
You're afraid, huh? Me too. I'm afraid this might go off on its own.
I've got sweaty hands. It'd be too bad if my finger slipped.
Stop screwing around!
Come on, stop already with your fucking drumming!
That guy is really a drag.
What's the matter?
The chick down there... I swiped her purse a while ago.
Why did you pick her?
I don't pick 'em. I just grab what comes along.
Miss?
He's a captain now.
I had forgotten he had picked up some stripes.
So how's my friend Lorenzini?
He's a friend of my husband. I've never met him.
You're not missing anything.
So what brings you here?
- Inspector? - What is it now?
- I need to check some files. - Go ahead.
Go on and tell me everything.
This way.
You wait here. I'll get the duty officer.
- Excuse me, Inspector. - What is it now?
Sergeant Batman, another purse snatching.
- The Roller? - Who else?
While you're at it, go get us some coffee. It's on your way.
Coffee, ma'am?
All right, but make it real coffee this time. The last stuff tasted like...
Soup! That's what I've been telling them for months!
Go on, go on.
- Morning. - Morning.
All right.
You have to fill out this form.
First name here, last name here.
Over here, give a rough estimate of what was in your purse.
And here, describe how it happened.
Then sign on the bottom line.
Fill out both forms. I'm out of carbon paper.
What are the chances of getting my purse back?
I don't know about your purse...
but I swear I'm gonna catch this guy one of these days.
Fill them out. I'll be back.
He has a good face.
That picture was taken at the party.
I would imagine he's still wearing the same thing.
Good. We'll send some men out after him.
A man wearing a tuxedo in the subway shouldn't be too hard to spot.
It's a big place down here. We even get lost ourselves sometimes.
Would you mind writing down your name and address?
You forgot to sign.
Sorry.
All right. We'll let you know if there's any news.
Thank you. Good-bye.
- Good-bye. - Good-bye.
If you happen to run into this joker, bring him in.
Chief, it's Batman.
Chief, it's Batman!
I haven't found the blond guy, but the Roller's 50 feet away.
What do I do?
- Follow the Roller. - All right! Thanks, Chief.
- Robin, you read me? - Loud and clear.
Send backup. Heading to Vincennes from the connecting corridor.
I'm hot on the Roller's heels.
I can send Tony andJerry. Is that enough?
No, I need more than two.
- Damn! I lost my antenna. - It's all right.
Hold up.
He's mine, he's mine, he's mine!
Okay, spread out.
Go around that way! Come on, move! Go!
Fuck!
He jumped over the...
Shit!
Not enough to let one escape. You had to let the other one get away too.
You're pathetic, Batman. Pathetic.
Give me five minutes.
How are you doing?
Shall we go have a little drink?
I've got work to do.
Don't refuse. You'll hurt my feelings.
Leave us alone, will you?
There's never an opener around.
You're well-equipped, I see.
Nice suit you got yourself there. What's it made of?
Fox.
That's a good one.
It's just the right size. Fits you like a glove, huh?
What size do you think this guy would wear?
Thirty-eight.
- When did you buy this nice new suit? - This morning.
- Is your tailor still around? - Maybe. Is it important?
Have you ever known me to leave my office just to stretch my legs?
- What did he do? - Just little things. You want details?
No, just showing an interest. Making conversation.
I appreciate that.
By the way, you wouldn't know where I might find the Roller?
- Haven't seen him for a week. - No idea where your tailor is either?
We're not close. I only met him once.
This is becoming annoying. Very annoying.
You know, when I'm annoyed, I get very jumpy.
The smallest thing sets me off, and then...
I can get downright nasty sometimes.
I even overstep my authority.
It's terrible, this violence that lurks deep down inside us all.
This irrational, devastating violence.
The only way I can calm down...
is to take it out on someone else.
The first person who happens to cross my path.
Life is tough, very tough.
I swear I don't know this guy.
I met him this morning and he sold me his suit. That's all.
- The Roller's taken him under his wing. - And where's the Roller?
I don't know.
Really.
I'll try to find out, okay?
- I promise to do my best. - That's the way.
And I promise to do all I can to control my jumpy nerves.
Want another drink?
Okay, you've had enough to drink. Time to pay up. I have to close now.
- Pardon me. - Shit!
Can't you be more careful?
I'm really sorry.
Your nose is bleeding.
What the hell are you doing here anyway?
I got lost.
You're already asleep?
I want you to meet... What was your name?
Helena.
Fred.
I'm Jean-Louis.
You want something to drink? A little scotch?
Thank you.
What do you do for a living, Fred?
I'm starting a band.
Interesting.
Thank you.
It's called "The Blackmailers," and you're the lead singer, right?
I can't sing.
I had an accident when I was a kid.
A car accident.
My father was driving.
He bet he could make it under a truck with his sedan.
He won the bet...
and I spent five hours in surgery...
and five months in the hospital.
Five years without uttering a word.
The accident was on my fifth birthday.
Strange, huh?
The law of numbers.
Fives across the board.
I've loved birthdays ever since that day.
I'm out of here. Your life story is depressing the shit out of me!
Don't you ever go to the movies?
Sure.
Then reach for the sky!
I'm glad to see you.
So am I. Where are the papers?
- In the tuxedo pocket. - And where's the tuxedo?
A friend's got it. He manages the music store upstairs.
Put these on. Put your arm around that crate.
Are handcuffs a thing with you or what?
I'll free you, honey, when I get my papers back.
Honey? Are we on intimate terms now?
Did you buy my story about the accident?
No.
Are you the manager?
That's right.
I'm a friend of Fred's.
Fred?
You know, the guy who left his tuxedo with you.
The blond guy? He didn't leave anything with me.
Thanks, Big Bill.
- You should quit screwing around. - Yeah, I know.
I don't understand.
Do you find this funny?
Let's get some coffee.
I'm going to count to three.
One...
What a dump!
Put that toy away. You don't need it down here.
Nobody shoots florists.
You're a real mess.
Just look at you.
You've got grease stains on your lapel.
Put this on. I'll have yours dry-cleaned.
No, thanks.
Do you know Fred? The blond guy who was over there?
Fred? He's an old friend. We've known each other for years.
Is he always like that?
Just what do you know about him?
Almost nothing.
He's incredible.
No feelings, no friends...
just a touch of passion.
You're made for each other.
How about a bouquet?
Damn it! What the hell is she doing?
We're closing now. Beat it. Come on, let's go.
What the hell are you doing here?
Just keeping the young lady company.
Bullshit! You come in here and drink my whiskey while I'm out.
Your rotten booze? Certainly not.
Are the two of you through arguing?
Put one of these in the bathtub with the flowers at night.
Put the flowers in headfirst.
There you are.
Beat it, will ya? Go on! Go!
Isn't he charming?
I'll leave the bag here in case you need something.
Mademoiselle, gentlemen.
He drinks up my scotch, so when I invite someone over, there's none left.
If it happens again, I'm moving.
Excuse me, but is there any place to get something to eat? I'm starving.
What are you waiting for?
Meet me at the bar near the entrance to the station at 8:00.
Make it 9:00. See you tomorrow.
I'd give you a picture of me to stare at, but you already have one.
What's on your mind now?
Nothing.
Your eyes have changed color.
And you don't like that?
Your whole face has changed color.
It's like you're glowing.
I'd almost say you weren't interested in those papers anymore.
Could it be you're interested in me?
Yeah.
- I'm what you want? - Yeah.
Well, you can't have me.
Shall we dance?
Why do I love you?
Because I'm an amazing woman.
Why don't you love me?
Because I don't have the guts.
Are you lazy?
Terribly.
Who does the cooking at your house?
The cook.
And the housework?
The housekeeper.
And the lovemaking?
May I?
Hey, how're you guys doing?
Damn! Just what we don't need!
Who's the chick?
Cinderella.
Well, your Cinderella's got a pistol this big in her bag.
It's her magic wand.
Good morning.
May I have a cup of coffee, please?
Right away.
Your husband's waiting over there.
You had to bring him, didn't you? You just couldn't resist, huh?
Did you sleep well?
Where do I begin?
At the beginning.
I ran into this guy.
- You want a croissant with that? - No, thank you.
- Piece of pie? - No, thank you.
We got great desserts but no buyers.
I ran into him in front of the house.
I had run some errands for my birthday party.
He helped me take the packages out of the car.
I thought he was nice...
so I invited him to the party that evening.
And he blew the safe during your party?
Well, yeah.
But he gave everything back that same night.
Except the file.
He lost it.
This was in the mailbox this morning.
"Provide 50 million francs in small bills...
if you want your papers back.
Further instructions to follow. Fred."
Are you happy now?
I know I'm Little Orphan Annie rescued by Daddy Warbucks.
You're smothering me, Daddy Warbucks.
You're crushing me.
I need some air.
I didn't even cheat on you last night.
I didn't even feel like cheating on you.
I spent the whole night watching fireworks instead.
It felt really great.
I'm sick of your way of life...
sick of your schemes and your smiles...
even sick of your money.
Then why don't you get a divorce?
How much do I owe?
Jean!
Take care of that young man, and make it quick.
We're dining out this evening. Be ready by 8:00.
You could smile, you know.
When I smile, I feel like throwing up. What do you prefer?
- What is this hairdo? - Iroquois.
- What? - Iroquois.
- How! - How are you?
I'm delighted to see you. My goodness!
Raymond, over here.
"Raymond."
Business matters!
You're looking very well. Were you on the Riviera?
Why, yes, I was!
Good for you. It's been raining in Paris for days.
- May I take your coat? - No.
- Are you cold? - No, but I won't be staying long.
She said, " Don't buy from that dealer... he's a fiend."
So I said...
I hate this. You take it.
Brigitte!
So I said to myself, "He's giving you a good tip."
What grade are you in?
My senior year. I mean, it's my third try at my senior year.
Here. I hate this.
It was very awkward, don't you know, so I went back...
Stop! Tell your story to someone else...
because I don't really give a fuck about all this bullshit.
Darling, what's the matter?
Mrs. Kerman, is there a problem?
No. I was just telling your wife...
that I don't give a fuck about her pointless and stupid stories.
Helena, apologize immediately.
Apologize?
For what?
For putting up with his wife for three hours?
Come trade places with me. Maybe you'll be more amused than I was.
Helena, leave the table at once.
Mr. Magistrate, your dinner is pathetic and your digs are pathetic.
Go fuck yourselves, all of you!
Good.
Good evening.
You're waiting for the inspector, I suppose.
He may not be back tonight.
You can tell me everything. I'm his right-hand man.
Do you know Quimper?
In Brittany?
And Saint-Raphael?
Yeah, I've heard of it. It's on the Riviera.
I seem to have lost my passport along the way.
Really? You lost your passport between Quimper and Saint-Raphael?
Exactly.
I know it's not quite your precinct...
but the inspector spoke so very highly of you.
Yes, but... He did?
It's not going to be easy. Not easy at all.
What kind of car were you driving?
- How about a bouquet? - Do I look like I want to buy flowers?
No, but you look like you're waiting for someone.
And I have a feeling you'll be waiting a long time.
How much for a bouquet?
Twenty francs, plus a small brandy.
Very funny.
Rene, a double brandy.
- Evening. - Evening, Inspector.
This young lady lost her passport between Quimper and Saint-Raphael.
She was in a car, and...
- Two coffees. - Two coffees, right away.
- Any news? - Yes.
Fifty million. If I were you, I'd pay him right away.
His price is going up every day.
Some men are looking for him.
They want to kill him.
You know, like in a western.
Since you're the sheriff around here...
it would be much better if you found him first.
Better for whom?
For everybody.
Because if you don't do anything about it...
your little station is going to turn into Waterloo.
How many men are on his trail?
Around ten.
With any luck, they won't find him till tomorrow.
The subway closes in 20 minutes.
Let's hope so.
"Closed"
Everybody up and off your ass!
Okay. Let's go. Spread out.
Okay, stay together.
Gentlemen, this is Paul, our singer.
This here is Jean-Claude, guitar.
Emile on percussion.
The drummer never divulges his name.
Mr. Saxophone.
And this little bastard's Erico, composer and bass player.
Sit down.
Chief, I've located his hideout. Look what I found!
Damn it! He's never here. Shit!
What the hell are you doing?
Police. Handcuffs. Prison.
Your papers, please.
Your papers.
There!
Fuck! Shit!
Block off level two, the whole level!
Hello. Hello, this is Robin.
Did you see anyone?
Okay, okay, okay. There's only one left.
Identity check.
Okay, do your duty, men.
- Control's been alerted... - You're an asshole. A real asshole!
Well, the chase is over.
I mean it. Sometimes you're a real asshole!
- Is he here? - Who?
The pope.
How would I know? I haven't seen anyone but the inspector.
Stupid son of a...
Are you the one who gave me this great pair of roller skates?
It's getting to be quite a collection.
I'm going to become a roller-skate freak.
Did you read these letters?
Answer the inspector when he asks you a question!
Mr. Batman, would you be so kind...
as to go to the bar and get me a nice little coffee...
with a dash of milk and two sugars?
That guy's an asshole!
My nose is fragile.
You should've told him before.
Happy now?
Go on. Have a good laugh at my expense.
You've been laughing behind our backs for the last eight months.
That guy's been chasing you for eight months.
Put yourself in his place.
Where'd you steal these letters from?
I found them in a corridor.
In a corridor?
"Provide 50 million francs in small bills...
if you want your papers back.
Further instructions to follow. Signed, Fred."
- My name's not Fred. - Neither is mine.
Hello, this is Inspector Gesberg.
I'd like to speak to Mrs. Kerman, please.
How are you doing?
- Didn't we say ten grand? - You'll get the rest when I get my man.
I don't like that at all...
And I don't like your face.
Hey, take it easy.
Okay. What's 500 francs, more or less?
You see that telephone on the wall over there?
It's 6:00 now. Pick it up when it rings at 7:15.
You'll find out where your tourist is.
Sweetie pie.
Asshole.
Hey, I gotta make a phone call. Let me use your glasses.
- Again? - Yes, again.
Fifty-fifty?
Okay.
If you ask me, I think one of us should take off his glasses.
Don't move!
Come on. Give me the boxes.
You got kids, don't you?
Give me the boxes. Nice and slow.
Does your wife work too? Is she waiting for you?
Now shut the doors!
Okay, beat it! Get going!
You just got screwed out of 500 francs!
See you around, buddy.
Where the hell is he? We're gonna be late.
Where is this concert? Maybe we could go on ahead.
I don't even know where it is.
Don't worry. He's probably working out a few details.
See? There he is.
Sorry, kids, but...
You know, we were starting to get really pissed off.
- Well, I'm sorry. - So where do we go now?
Nowhere. We're playing right there.
Are you shitting us? You call that a stage?
Come on. Let's get set up.
Nothing works in this place!
Thank you, Inspector.
Chief? We had a holdup on line number three.
So?
So nothing.
What are you waiting for? A note from the teacher?
- No, I'm going, I'm going. - If you're going, then go.
All right. I'm gone.
What do you intend to do about Fred?
To be perfectly frank, this Fred is getting to be a pain in the ass.
You look for him. You find him.
Take him outside for some fresh air. It will do him good.
Chief, it's Batman. I've had confirmation on that holdup.
I'm on the platform now, but there's no sign of them.
They must be hiding out. Maybe I can find some eyewitnesses.
How about using a little initiative, Batman?
If I were you, I'd send the riot squad into the tunnel.
- Maybe they'll turn up something. - Good idea.
- Thanks for everything, Inspector. - Hold on. We haven't finished.
Fill this form out first. I want your name, address, et cetera...
a description of what you lost and what was retrieved...
and your signature to finish it off.
Where is everyone? Where are Paul and the bass player?
Backstage.
- What, nobody told you? - Told us what?
The concert's been canceled.
I told the subway staff. Didn't they notify you?
Where's Mr. Lemoine? This is the second time you've canceled on us.
We're happy to play for free, but you can't treat people this way.
You're right. You're absolutely right. That's what I told Mr. Lemoine.
Here... for your trouble.
With our apologies.
- Where's Mr. Lemoine? - Are you stupid or what?
Thank you, sir.
Today you just listen. Tomorrow you play, okay?
- Have we finished? - Not so fast.
- Can I write you a check? - No problem.
Give it all you've got.
May I ask you a question?
Do you love me even a little bit?
I'll call you later.